Troubling Time

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It’s been a troubling time for me lately, this whirlwind month of planning and transition. As I prepare to mail my applications to schools in the US, I am beset with worries of financial insufficiency, a drought of local employment prospects, parental opposition, and simple apprehension over the impending jump.

The questions pile up: Will I have enough money to last in the US? Will I be able to get a job and find a place to stay? What if my cash runs out? Where will I go? What will I do?

And the pressing question of the moment: When should I go?

It’s been hard finding a new job. None of my main employment prospects has returned a positive response, and the cash supply will soon be running low. Friends and relatives have advised me to make the move now, and look for better opportunities in the States, but my parents at the same time warn me that the recession has made jobs scarce and I may have nothing to fall back on as compared to waiting here.

I’m aiming to depart before March is done, as soon as the last application is sent — but as I said, there are certain family members who don’t want me going yet.

Well, as I told my Mom over lunch today, I’ve only made it this far living on my own — three years! — because of the Lord’s gracious will, and if not for His grace I would have fallen flat on my face years ago. So, I have laid my future plans at His feet in submission to His will, and by His grace, I trust that He will make this jump possible.

As I was riding home today, a Bible verse printed on the side of a jeepney caught my attention:

Trust in the Lord, and lean not on thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will set thy paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6

In all thy ways acknowledge Him! Oh, how those words cut to my very heart! What a faithless, sinful wretch I am, so undeserving! And yet in the midst of my unbelief, He steps in, with loving kindness, to comfort, to protect, and to guide. What a wondrous, wondrous Savior and Lord we have!

Why do I worry? Why do I fear? In all thy ways acknowledge Him! What better advice could I have received today than that?

My plans are as dust, my life but a vapor, but if the Lord wills it, I shall proceed, and submit to his guidance and will, with the trust that what happens is what He has planned, and what He has planned is always for the good of those who love Him.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. – Matthew 6:33.

Kaanib flame

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Oh, now here’s something out of the ordinary: someone from Ang Dating Daan seems to be mad at me. (Thanks for the note, Cornelius! :)

Just for the record, I’m not one of the Bereans; I just offered them a domain and hosting space. I’m not “Justyn” or “abuGian,” but I do praise God for the wonderful work they’re doing witnessing to the truth of the Word.

Interesting point for discussion among the more rational Reformed Christians: because Jesus used the words “hypocrites, fools, liars, and brood of vipers,” does that give the Christian witness the right to call people by such names as well? Food for thought… ;)

Handoodling

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A couple of drawings I doodled on my Palm today. To make these, I used Diddle, a freeware drawing app for PalmOS, and a screenshot hack to capture the drawings and convert them to GIF format on my PC.

(I haven’t drawn a “furry” since college!)

Falling Teeth Dream

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Early this morning, I had a vivid dream. I was talking to my niece (whom I had just talked to in real life over lunch with my folks that day), counseling her over relationship problems. I ended by giving her a quick hug (don’t know why; I’ve never hugged any of my relatives), and going up by myself to an apartment.

Along the way, my teeth started falling out painlessly, one by one, and I had to spit them into my hand as they came loose. Soon, I had a whole cupped hand full of fallen teeth. Panicked, I looked in the mirror to see what was left — and they were all still there. Then I woke up, and checked, and all 32 of them (wisdom teeth included) were indeed still there.

Strange. Dream Doctor says falling teeth mean anxiety about appearance.

Greenbelt escalator video

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What is the significance, I wonder, of that mockup TV sitting beside the up-escalator in Greenbelt Mall, showing a continuously looping video of a young man walking in the opposite direction of a moving escalator, viewed from above?

My first reaction upon seeing it was to look around for a camera directly over any of the escalators in the mall. Not finding any, I concluded that it was some sort of avant-garde plug for an artsy local movie.

Anyone have clues?

Phoons

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Phooning! Makes me want to phoon too. (Link via BWG via Krisalis.)

Ah. I’ve finished all my banking chores, and I was fortunate enough to catch our currency exchange rate on a strong day. Now I’m blogging from a cafe in Makati, moderating my forums on PEX. After all the dial-up trouble I’ve been having at home, it’s nice to browse at a moderately fast speed without regular timeouts, disconnections, and unrefreshed ISP-caching.

Madrigal History Tour

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I’m currently listening to The King’s Singers Madrigal History Tour. What a delightful little collection! The French and English madrigals are especially exquisite, and these guys sing Janequin’s La Guerre even better than the Janequin Ensemble themselves. Their La, la, la, la, je ne l’ose dire is also a pleasant listen, even at only 42 seconds long. If you’re a fan of madrigals or the King’s Singers, I highly recommend this CD. Excellent purchase.