FB4F didn’t win the Web Award. But that’s okay, I wasn’t expecting to win. I praise God that I even reached the Finalists, which is a miracle all in itself. Well, now the awards are over, I can go about transitioning it to the more serious urban legends site over the weekend. I’m rather glad I didn’t bother going to the awards anymore. Choir practice was a lot more fulfilling.

If I had won, my friend Mike would have been my proxy to accept the award. Just so my wit isn’t wasted, here’s the proxy acceptance speech I sent him:

I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the web awards tonight. I’m currently in the hospital after waking up this morning in the bathtub, with a tube sticking out of my abdomen and a kidney missing. The last thing I remembered before that, I was in the mall, where I fell through a trapdoor and got attacked by a mutant snake monster. Even now, I’m still not feeling well. Must be the Zagu I was drinking at the time.

While I’m recovering, it seems I’ve won the award, which I find almost as amazing as any urban legend I’ve ever heard. Thanks go out first and foremost to Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, who constantly inspires me in my online quest for truth. I am also very grateful to Pinoyexchange.com, for providing an excellent venue for me to ask about — and share — all the stories I hear, and also allowing me to shamelessly spam the forum with FB4F plugs. Thanks also to the dozens of people who’ve sent me all sorts of email forwards, hoaxes, and legends, both true and false, confirmed and unconfirmed.

Be vigilant! And watch out for mutant fried chicken and earthworms in your burgers. God bless you.