Whole Foods was giving out free American flags at the cashier, so I got one, brought it home, and taped it to my windowsill, where it proudly waved in the wind. But now the wind has just blown the whole flag away, and I can’t find where it flew off to.

I guess I’ll just have to express my patriotism by eating the stuff I bought at Whole Foods: red salsa, blue corn chips, and white milk.