Wild Rhode Island Vacuum-Breathing Beasts

Strange, vivid dream last night:

******* and I became powerful celestial beings, and we went on a grand Solar System tour. As I was showing her the Galilean moons by name, I told her not to land on Europa because we might disturb the life there. Suddenly, we saw strange creatures — sort of like Stephen King’s Langoliers — only with plaid skin, floating around Jupiter’s upper atmosphere. “Look!” I said, “wild vacuum-breathing beasts from Rhode Island! We have to get away!”

“How did they get here from Rhode Island?” ******* asked as we fled, nasty gnashing beasts chasing us away into outer space.

“Earth must have been destroyed,” I said, “We need to get back and see.”

We returned to Earth, but it was still there.


Upon returning, I was put in a medium-security mental institution, where they kept me for ten years. I actually felt the ten years go by in my dream, with much drama and tears. But my room had a TV, carpeted floors, and a soft bed, so I was happy. At the end of it, the warden showed me my status report, and told me I had made amazing progress from the malnourished, raving schizophrenic I had been when I was committed.

I was free to go, but the black steel gates were still tied shut with knotted rubber bands. A pair of rollerbladers glided past outside. As I attempted to undo the knots, a young man with Parkinson’s sat behind me, talking about Jesus. I tried to share the Gospel message with him, but I don’t think he was getting it so I just left him a tract.

I opened the gates, and suddenly woke up, annoyed that I was no longer a powerful celestial being and wondering how floating beasts from Rhode Island could possibly breathe the vacuum of space.

Then I woke up. Yes, it was one of those dreams.


  1. bruce springstein says:

    that was so lame!

  2. noelle says:

    You know that thing about Europa having life? I have a feeling you’ve read Arthur C. Clarke’s 2010: Odyssey Two. There are two celestial beings at the end of the book, and they tell humans not to go to Europa because there’s life there. Ü

  3. Paulo says:

    I saw the 2010 Movie, and yes, my dream was a direct reference to the Monolith’s “All these worlds are yours” transmission.

  4. noelle says:

    Oh, so there WAS a movie made! My book is a very dated copy. †