The Cockroach Challenge … of Doom!

Suddenly, an extremely large flying cockroach flew in through the window, glanced off the wall, and buzzed my ear before landing on my bed.

I’ve dealt with cockroaches before, with great vengeance and might, but this was a somewhat unique situation: Kill it now and stain the sheets, or shoo it off and have it flying around and escaping deeper into the house to lay eggs and spread disease? I opted to go for the kill.

The challenge: swat it with my slipper, at such an angle and speed that it would suffer a mortal blow, but not so smashing that its viscera would spatter across the bedsheet from a burst wound.

I poised, and it tensed, wings raising to launch anew.

But I prevailed, with a sudden blow so quick that it severed one hairy leg, and sent the insect flying off the bed to the wood floor. It landed, bounced once, struggled a bit, then was still. Dead, yet unspattered — but for the single cockroach leg lying atop the sheet.

I triumphantly flicked the leg into the garbage, scooped the rest of the carcass into the garbage with a few squares of tissue, and drowned what remained of its life in 70% isopropyl alcohol.

Now excuse me, please. I need to go wash my ear.


  1. Jio says:

    I remember my brother and I were tucked in our beds side-by-side in one room. I had a shallow sleep then. Good fate was with me, for I barely saw a cockroach fast approaching the side of my brother. Instinctively, he shooed it towards my direction, near my face. I don’t know how I got some strength and guts, but somehow I instinctively scooped the approaching pest with my right hand. I threw the squirming insect across the room and heard it thump on the closet door. It scurried fast across the floor as if in sudden fright in what I did to him/her. I just slept afterwards, unmindful of what I did. o_^

  2. D says:

    ewwww. lol, I come check your blog, Paulo, and this is what I’m greeted with. ~pokes~ D’you even remember me? Anyway, the cockroach story is very encouraging, considering I’m going to camp soon. XD

  3. Jesper says:


    The cockroach went on to become a great success in heaven, holding open-mike nights every second monday.

    The slipper wasn’t worn since then and can now be found happily living in a large trash can with three baby shoe kids and one boot wife.

    The alcohol survived, but was later treated to a trash can, him too.

    Paolo was bugged by Jesper every day on AIM and ICQ. He killed himself using a butter knife, two gallons of yogurt and a newspaper from 1853.

  4. Aaron says:

    You are a man, Paulo, you are a man.

  5. Evolution says:

    I remember when I was in High School, I had a Glock 17L BB Gun that I used to kill roaches. They would not splatter but have a neat little hole through it’s body when they get hit. It was such a cheap thrill blasting roaches off walls. Sometimes I even would go out near the canals to do a roach safari. Those were the days. I’d like to be a kida again.

  6. ganns says:

    I kill cockroaches in similar ways – slam them against the wall until their little necks snap. I, too, hate cockroach guts, especially against my flipflops.

    Francis of Assisi wouldn’t like me much.

  7. beto says:

    crush under my foot