While I was walking from Alabang Town Center to church, a man stopped me and asked if he’d seen someone around the area wearing a striped shirt. So I asked him why. He said that some guy went up to him, pinched his nipples (in Tagalog, kinurot ang suso), and ran off, so he was wondering if I might have seen him. (Why he would associate me with such a strangely random, strangely stupid occurrence, I have no idea.)

I suspiciously said no. Then he started asking me if anyone was with me, where I lived, and what my name was. At which point I said, “Sige po! Bye-bye!” and promptly walked away from him.

You sure get creeps in this country. I suppose I’m fortunate I didn’t get held up.