I have lost her heart.

This morning we talked, and I realized that I must come to terms with how changed things are. I must stop clinging to the futile hope that things can be as they were before. We are different people, and I do not think we can come together again.

Please pray for me. It is not easy, coming to terms with the loss of the only girl I could ever find to love. My heart is broken, utterly and completely, and I can do nothing but lift these finely ground pieces to God, submit to his will, and pray for his healing.

This is part of life. This is what people go through. Pain and despair come into the landscape, but I do know that the Master Artist still holds the brush, and he will paint this sadness into something beautiful. And one day, I know I will rejoice.

But right now, today, for the first time in eight years, I’m lonely. Cold, sad, and lonely. Please pray for me.