White kid, about 25, medium height and build, spiky blond hair and a single earring, wearing jeans and generic university shirt, walking down M St SW across from Waterfront/SEU Metro station. He’s just hanging up a cellphone as he calls to me, “Hey, do you speak English?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Oh, thank God. I live right behind the Safeway, and my dad is in Salisbury, Maryland. He’s dying, and I need-”

I interrupt. “Right.”

“Did you say, ‘right’?”

“Find someone else to grift.”

I walk off towards the Metro. (In retrospect I probably shoudln’t have turned my back on him; no idea if he was packing.) He yells, “Well, God bless you. I hope you have a good evening!”

I just repeat over my shoulder, “Find someone else to grift.”

Thank you, LOST. You have taught me well.