Nine Obscure Truths and an Outright Lie About Paulo
1. I used to be dead scared of the ocean and the beach until I was 12, when I decided to just take the plunge and go swimming at Bonito Island. I enjoyed it. (I only found out later that Bonito is famous for its gray reef sharks, which like to come close to the beach.)
2. As a child, I used to play “Superman,” running around the house with a towel cape, an “S-logo” shirt, and fake glasses. I brushed my hair like Clark Kent, and I still do today.
3. I would also play “Incredible Hulk,” stripping down to my skivvies and pretending to be Lou Ferrigno — but only in private in the bathroom. Yes, I know that sounds bad. At least there was no green body paint involved.
4. I dressed like Parker Lewis in high school, wearing printed polo shirts, slacks, and (cough) Nike rubber shoes.
5. At one high school soiree, I was aiming to get partnered with a certain girl, and when I didn’t get her, (ill-mannered teenage fool that I was) I asked the guy who did get partnered with her if we could trade — in front of my partner. That was rude, and I regret my lack of sensitivity to this day.
6. I danced up a storm at the high school prom, but not a very nice storm. It was rather embarassing.
7. I was a major role-playing game fanatic from grade school through high school, playing Dungeons and Dragons, Middle-Earth Role-Playing, Robotech, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Marvel Superheroes, and more.
8. I was so easily creeped out as a kid that the sandworm scene in Star Trek II (The Wrath of Khan), where Khan puts the worm in Chekov’s ear, had me cowering and sobbing in fear.
9. I once almost got the bends on one of my scuba-diving checkouts, when a strong current ripped me from the coral and away from the instructor, then swept me right up to the surface from 50 feet. The only ill effect was a splitting headache the rest of the day.
10. I use women’s deodorant for my underarms.
Well, what do you think? Which is the lie? I’ll be back soon, with some expostulation.