Hurry Poop

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These words of wisdom were scrawled on MrMoonPie’s refrigerator:

Sometimes you just can't hurry poop.

In response I heartily suggest the mixing of a shot of espresso* into a bowl of quick cook oatmeal**. Believe me when I tell you that it will most definitely hurry poop.

* Caffeine can stimulate accelerated peristalsis in the digestive tract, so that your intestines push out more waste faster. Doctors, back me up on this.

** Oatmeal is loaded with fiber, which, as you may know, makes you poop.