I’ve always maintained that the only thing worse than Vanessa Mae is Vanessa Mae times four. Pop string quartet “Bond” breaks into the music market with a debut CD album, “Born,” and a poorly written press release, creating a straw man of traditional classical music as “snobbish” and “old-school,” then attempting to defy that rather blatant stereotype with their own “unique” style of performance.

Bond’s mission is universal. Unconstrained by convention, appreciation of their music is international and ageless, requiring no prior knowledge of classical composers, no dress code and no old school snobbery. And as naturally talented and expertly trained performers, Bond refine their onstage act behind closed doors, secretly becoming a breathtakingly charismatic live unit.

In other words, they play the classics over a monotonous techno/new-age percussion beat, hoping to draw in the kiddies and get on MTV with their sexy image. “Original,” my foot. It’s been done before, mates, much to everyone’s cringing amusement.