The radiator's out again. It's late at night. There you are in your cold, cold room, curled up on your full to queen size bed, under that pathetically thin flat sheet you call a blanket, shivering, sobbing chilled tears of self-pity because you can't afford that lovely white synthetic down comforter you saw at Bed Bath and Beyond last weekend. Damn this no-downpayment variable-interest mortgage! Damn it to hell!

But not all is lost, as I have here the solution to your nighttime freeze! Behold, I have the very comforter you seek: a thick, white, full to queen size synthetic down comforter, to keep you warm and cozy at night and give you the very comfort for which it is named! And it is yours if you ask for it, come to pick it up, and give me $10!

And for absolutely no extra cost it comes with a fresh scattering of fur shed from a white Persian cat!

Contact me now to get in on this great, absolutely-must-not-miss deal! That comforter can be yours!

(The only catch, really, is that you take care of cleaning the damn thing yourself after you buy it. It's a bit too big for my bed, won't fit in the apartment washing machine and dryer, and is a bitch to store. But otherwise it's a great comforter to sleep under. Photo below. Cat and peacock feather not included.)