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The House MD Plot Formula

Every episode of House that I’ve seen so far has used this formula, with just one exception. Tumor excision surgery is like the Blazing Sword or Wave Motion Gun of this series.

  1. Admit patient with dramatic symptoms
  2. Treatment for obvious diagnosis = no worky
  3. BRAINSTORM();
  4. Treatment for new brainstormed diagnosis = no worky
  5. House gets snarky and his deep-seated motivations for taking in this patient are explored
  6. if (!near(end of episode)) { GOTO(BRAINSTORM()); } else { diagnosis = cancer!; }
  7. SURGERY();
  8. No more cancer!
  9. Concluding montage with happy/thoughtful background music
  10. The End

(The exception was the one where the 12-year old girl athlete turned out to have an unwanted pregnancy.)

(Update: Oops. Thanks to Mic for setting me straight on the meanings of “diagnosis” and “prognosis.” A shrewd and devious evidence-destroying Find/Replace has been executed.)

More from Mic on medical dramas and their plots.

This was written by brownpau. Posted on Friday, October 7, 2005, at 7:20 pm. Filed under tv. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

6 Comments

  1. Roy Jacobsen wrote:

    And then there was the one with the girl with terminal cancer, and they found a non-related tumor on her heart, but that wasn’t causing her problems. In the end it was a blood clot in her brain.

    Friday, October 7, 2005 at 9:54 pm | Permalink
  2. Scott wrote:

    I have been worried that it would get stale, because I have noticed the same thing. Yet I still find it entertaining each week.

    Friday, October 7, 2005 at 10:35 pm | Permalink
  3. Mic wrote:

    Aargh! You beat me to it, Paulo. I was about to post about the House formula too. By the way, it’s “diagnosis” not “prognosis.” Two different terms. “Diagnosis” is what’s wrong with the patient / what the patient has. “Prognosis” is an educated prediction of the probable outcome of the disease. For example: Diagnosis: stage IV lung cancer; Prognosis: dead within the year. A lot of real doctors watch the show by the way. We’re all workaholics, so a lot of us watch TV shows related to medicine.

    Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 9:20 am | Permalink
  4. Sparticus wrote:

    I have to say that I’ve only seen three or four yet have picked up on it, but I still want to see more. I think it was the, everyone in a room brainstorm thing happening. And sometimes I get the impression that House (the Dr) is a bit like Gandalf or Dumbeldore in that you get the impression he knows what’s wrong with them all along, he just wants everyone else to get there on their own.

    Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 10:57 am | Permalink
  5. Tim wrote:

    So, wait. You’re saying that Hollywood and Burbank don’t innovate and think, that they resort to mere formula? No way.

    Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 1:12 pm | Permalink
  6. Noelle De Guzman wrote:

    I find it fascinating that Dr. House is obsessed with a soap opera. :p

    Friday, October 14, 2005 at 6:55 am | Permalink