Wild Rhode Island Vacuum-Breathing Beasts

Sat 8 Jun 2002 12:48:08

Strange, vivid dream last night:

Tiffany and I became powerful celestial beings, and we went on a grand Solar System tour. As I was showing her the Galilean moons by name, I told her not to land on Europa because we might disturb the life there. Suddenly, we saw strange creatures -- sort of like Stephen King's Langoliers -- only with plaid skin, floating around Jupiter's upper atmosphere. "Look!" I said, "wild vacuum-breathing beasts from Rhode Island! We have to get away!"

"How did they get here from Rhode Island?" Tiffany asked as we fled, nasty gnashing beasts chasing us away into outer space.

"Earth must have been destroyed," I said, "We need to get back and see."

We returned to Earth, but it was still there.

<SUDDEN SCENE CHANGE>

Upon returning, I was put in a medium-security mental institution, where they kept me for ten years. I actually felt the ten years go by in my dream, with much drama and tears. But my room had a TV, carpeted floors, and a soft bed, so I was happy. At the end of it, the warden showed me my status report, and told me I had made amazing progress from the malnourished, raving schizophrenic I had been when I was committed.

I was free to go, but the black steel gates were still tied shut with knotted rubber bands. A pair of rollerbladers glided past outside. As I attempted to undo the knots, a young man with Parkinson's sat behind me, talking about Jesus. I tried to share the Gospel message with him, but I don't think he was getting it so I just left him a tract.

I opened the gates, and suddenly woke up, annoyed that I was no longer a powerful celestial being and wondering how floating beasts from Rhode Island could possibly breathe the vacuum of space.

Then I woke up. Yes, it was one of those dreams.